


Would You—?

by violasarecool



Category: Star Wars Legends: Knights of the Old Republic II: The Sith Lords
Genre: Gen, Nonbinary Character, The Force
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-19
Updated: 2018-05-19
Packaged: 2019-05-09 01:31:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 782
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14706569
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/violasarecool/pseuds/violasarecool
Summary: a meandering conversation about the force over a long hyperspace journey; post kotor 2





	Would You—?

**Author's Note:**

> warning for mentions of suicide and brief allusion to drugs

The ship was dark and quiet; it hummed softly as Siat walked down the narrow hall to the cockpit, the faint blue light of hyperspace spilling in from the window. Atton sat in the pilot's seat, staring aimlessly ahead, and Siat flopped down into the chair beside him. "Fucking hyperspace," ey muttered. "Kill me now and get it over with."

"Do you want me to?" Atton asked dryly.

Siat turned to face him, scrunched up into the chair with eir knees up to eir chin. "Would you kill me if I turned Sith?"

"Would you want me to?" Atton countered.

"I don't know."

"Then I think I'll hold off on it for now," he said, with a humourless smile. "Besides, people do plenty of bad shit without being Sith. Are you gonna tell me to kill you for every bad decision we've made? Cause I gotta tell you, there's been a lot."

Siat snorted. "Thanks, Atton."

"No problem." Atton stood up, glanced down at Siat. "Mind if I dim the lights? My eyes are starting to bug out."

"Sure."

He reached up and flicked a switch above them. The overhead lights faded until Siat could only just see Atton's silhouette, outlined by the blinking lights of the console behind him on one side, the glow of hyperspace on the other. He sat down with a light thud, and then there was only the quiet beeping and murmuring of the ship itself.

Siat slid down in eir chair until ey could comfortably stare up at the swirling blue through the wide cockpit windows. "Could someone still do good things as a Sith?"

"Dunno. Jedi/Sith politics aren't really my thing."

"Do you think _Revan_ went Sith for a reason?"

"Same answer, Siat. Though..." Ey heard Atton shift slightly, saw him lean back out of eir peripheral vision. "I guess she went back to the Republic in the end, if that helps."

"Maybe. Kreia seemed unconvinced she came back of her own free will."

"So she didn't want to do it. No one wants the _fate of the galaxy_ dumped on them."

Siat gave a quiet huff of air. "Good point."

"I thought so."

"Kreia did some good things though."

"She did some pretty fucked up things, too."

"But also good things. She helped me."

"Did she, though?"

"Atton..."

"Alright, alright."

"Maybe Revan had her reasons too."

"Maybe. I never saw much of her."

"Too low in the food chain?"

"Ouch."

"Well?"

"Probably. Did you?"

"Maybe. I think we might have been friends, once. I barely remember."

"Any feelings about if she was the kind of person to go all sithy for fun?"

"I think... she would have done whatever it took."

"To win the war?"

"In general. But that too."

"Right."

"Would you have killed Kreia if—"

"Yes."

"You didn't let me finish."

"The answer's obviously gonna be yes."

"Hah."

"Would I have killed her if she'd hurt you? Yes. Would I have killed her if she'd hurt that dumb astromech droid? Honestly, still a good enough excuse. Would I have killed her if she'd taken the last cup of caf? Absolutely."

Siat laughed.

"Would I have killed her if she'd fucked us over? Oh wait, she already did that."

"She was right, though."

"I doubt it. Name _one_ thing she was right about."

"The Force is a manipulative asshole."

Silence. Then: "Dammit."

"Yeah?"

"Fine. That's one I can get behind."

"Uh huh."

"So are you gonna go back to being... how did you say she put it? A big fucking hole in the Force?"

"Yes, that's exactly what she said. A big fucking hole in the Force."

"Say that again, but more ominously."

_"A big fucking hole in the Force."_

"Amazing. It's like she's right here with us."

"I'm not."

"Huh?"

"Going to go back to being... That. A wound in the Force."

"Oh."

"For one thing, I didn't really do it on purpose. But also... I don't know if I'd want to. The Force, it's... addictive. Kind of. But more like breathing air. You don't get addicted to breathing. Either you breathe, or you're dead."

"You didn't die without it, though."

"That's true."

"Maybe the Force likes to make you think you need it. But you did just fine on your own."

"I don't know if I'd call it _just fine._ But... you're right. I survived."

"Yeah."

"Yeah."

Quiet.

"I miss her, Atton. Pretty dumb, right?"

"Pretty dumb, yeah."

"I keep thinking she's going to interrupt my thoughts. Any minute now, I'll be hearing her voice: _Why are you wasting your time on that fool?"_

"You miss her judging your relationships?"

"Kind of."

"Always the stupid little things, isn't it."

"Yeah."


End file.
